Friday, November 9, 2007

The Clinton Rules

And so we begin in earnest: Hillary Clinton, non-tipper.

Forget for a moment that this wasn't Hillary popping in for a honeybun on her way to catch a Greyhound over to Mount Pilate, this was one of those campaign "events" generated entirely for the media...why the candidate is just plain folk: they eat too!
There were dozens of her staffers there. The overall bill ran to $157. They have records showing they left a $100 tip. Perilously close to 50% (EXTRA: Clinton. Is she too rich to rule?).

Forget all that, though.

Concentrate on this: if you think that this sort of asinine "story," originating from that right-wing noise machine bastion NPR is limited to Clinton, then think again. Once she's been dispatched based on excessive or minimalistic tips (and, rest assured, there will be blowback on over-tipping down the line), the laugh, cleavage, haircuts, shoeshines, brand and/or price-point of shampoo, or whatever other critical issue can ultimately be found, the media will eventually move on. Rest assured, though, they won't move on to, say, Giuliani claiming to know more of torture than John McCain, a man who has actually been tortured. Nope. Nor do we care about the five big lies relating to Giuliani's signature issue, 9/11. Nope, none of that is important enough even for a passing mention in the mainstream media. Neither can we focus on Hillary's own highly dubious choice in voting to give Bush license to attack Iran without provocation or further Congressional approval. What we care about are vague missteps in the tightly choreographed luncheon photo shoots of the Democrat. Especially when there's proof (in this case, proof of a gratuity) that there was no misstep. That's the best kind of misstep possible: the one that can't be put to rest because it never happened in the first place. Let's go 24/7 on this one! This is how you take the true measure of a candidate, after all.

Next debate: Blink round! Candidates, signify with one blink or two: 15% or 20% the adequate tip for service that's merely "so so"? (Did you see how he/she blinks!?! Is this a President? I think Americans blink with a little more conviction. And, Christ, do I see four buttons on that suit?)